If you're thinking about dating, or if you're in a relationship, the first thing that you have to do right now is to take a quiz on your attachment style. Think of this like the blueprint to you. Without it, you're going to keep repeating patterns, and wondering why you have to go through the same thing over and over again.
Take the quiz here --> https://www.attachmentproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/
Here are 3 signs that you have a fearful-avoidant attachment....
1. You avoid complaining, but sulk to hint that something is wrong
2. You want closeness, but you don't trust people around you
3. When there's conflict, you often withdraw
Essentially, you want a relationship, but when you start to get closer to someone the fear creeps in that they're going to hurt you, and this causes you to pull back. When someone tries to get closer to you, you view it as they're suffocating you (all that they're trying to do is build an emotional connection though).
How do you heal this?
1. Challenge your negative thoughts (especially when they're about not being able to trust someone, or that someone is getting too close to you)
2. Focus on building love, connection, and trust - this requires you to let your walls down, and lean into opening up emotionally, as well as expressing your needs
3. Practice mindfulness, and healthy conflict resolution. If you keep running away, you're only feeding into the fear (someone might hurt you so you run before they can ever hurt you, but essentially you become the reason why the relationship ends because you're not willing to work through issues....instead, you abandon people)
Of course, therapy is always a great support. Just be sure to find the right therapist for you - it's not a one size fits all kinda vibe.
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