How to stop spiralling when you're triggered

We've all been there.

Shit happens, and you keep replaying it over and over again.

First you replay what they said, and what you said. Then you think about a made up version of the past....this is called the "Things I could have said" episode. And finally, you think about all the things you could say to them now (perhaps thinking of calling or texting them?).

Ok sweetie, you're spiralling. I've been there too. And it sucks.

It basically just sucks up all your energy and leaves you feeling anxious, angry and drained.

Does it have any benefit? None at all. So why do you do it? Because it becomes "hard" to stop.

So here's the thing. The spiralling will never stop on it's own. It requires very conscious effort on your end to change the pattern.

Things you can start doing:

1. Identify your spiral triggers

2. Acknowledge when you're spiralling

3. Take deep breaths to ground yourself

4. Introduce movement to break out of the thought patterns

5. Breathe into the emotions you're feeling and allow them to pass

6. Ask yourself if the negative thoughts have any benefit to you? They don't. Replace them with 10 things you're grateful for

The truth is, nothing will change if you change nothing.

Instead of replaying scenes in your mind, look into journaling to acknowledge how you're feeling and what can be done to soothe yourself.

Whenever I want to hurt someone with my words, I acknowledge it's because I feel very hurt by their words or actions. I know how easy it is to throw out vicious words, but I want to be a better person for myself. So I very slowly choose the best response. Sometimes no response is the best response..

I let myself know it's ok to feel hurt, but it's not ok to project that onto others.

Breathing through my emotions really helped me regulate my nervous system, and stop being so reactive.

Yes, the other person may have done or said something hurtful, but you are 100% responsible for how you respond. So focus on building healthy coping skills, and note how you respond differently to triggers in the future.

ps: when I used to be triggered in the past, I would scream and throw things. I haven't done that in years, as I've worked very hard to become this grounded version of me. I'm still surprised when I respond in a calm way. It's so different from past me, and I guess I still haven't accepted fully the change in myself. I always say I'm a bitch, but actually I haven't been that version in a long time. Does it happen in my head? Yes. Do I act on it? No.